My a-button is busted.

Lately I've been thinking about how annoying technology is. I mean, it also helps, too; I'm not on Walden Pond over here, but seriously...it's so demanding. It's like nannying for your reputation. Constant supervision upon your vulnerable, digital self... especially when it comes to work and Stalkernet, and worse when they're entwined. Sweet 5-hour delay to untag that picture of you bonging a beer in your bra at age 27; sure no one saw it, nor did it show up for your old boss/aunts/former campers to see. I mean, it's not really a big deal, but 10 years ago this crap wouldn't have happened, and you had to ..God-forbid.. actually get to know someone before judging them as a completely insane boozehound. also, sweet job having to check e-mail all the freaking time. at work, or in real life, mad heads are over-e-mailing and I just can't handle it. People get so salty if you're delayed in response, or even take it personally if you just haven't even seen their correspondence yet; but don't tell them that you haven't seen it yet either, or you'll just look irresponsible.

We're held so accountable... and for what? Charlie biting his stupid finger again? Boss singing the Lumberg-song asking for just a little bit more of your time or effort or... lack of apathy? Once at my shitty desk I spit on my monitor. Like a llama or whatever, just loug'd on my screen out of anger; like it was not inanimate, or as though a chump on the street (like a chump, heyyy, like a chump heyyy). I had to mail all these uninformative, wasteful packets of Marketing garbage to Switzerland and I stapled something wrong or something. Can you even staple something wrong? I mean ... these papers...they're not separate now, they seem pretty attached. Must have misunderstood what stapling was. I got FIVE emails about the mis-staple. FIVE. Two were from the same Bimbo. This one old lady in the office slept at her desk (real)...like, all the time. They've probably scolded her via e-mail like 50 times but she always had her eyes closed so she probably thought everything was just fine. and wouldn't it be better that way? Not having your eyes closed, but, not having to slave to your Outlook or your Gmail or your Gchat or your sparkly Myspace emoticons? I don't know, maybe it's just me, but it's so annoying. I think some people actually like the constant accessibility...so different strokes, I guess. I quickly started getting inspiration from that old nap-taking-lady, and I kind of realized it's easier to just not care. Well, that's how most things are, I suppose. I think it's Microsoft's fault for offering a snooze option in Outlook, et al; (insert bad office joke here).

But even when we don't care, it still gets complicated. (are we talking about technology here?) Like right now, I have to cut & paste every "a" I type. My a-button is broken (so is my "_-ray" button for that matter, but "_" is a more manageable atrocity). Its taken me at least twelve years to get all these thoughts jotted down, what with my normal keystroke as smooth as the skin on Mavis Beacon's newborn behind, and this new method of typing being as punctuated.as.meticulously.as.a.Dickinson.sonnet. So, please e_cuse my lack of capitalization when it comes to a's, but it's been a tough run, and this will be the last thing I write before sending this old-piece-of-shit computer via snail-mail to California or someplace to get fi_ed. Wish me luck* for both our sakes.

<<*Once in college something else dumb happened to my computer and I brought it to Best Buy's Geek Squad to fi_ it, and without asking me before doing so, they mailed it to...somewhere. I, of course, had nothing backed up, and -no joke- my computer got lost at sea. I lost all my writing, music, pictures, and other stuff you save. WHaT YEaR IS THIS?! I wasn't aware that was possible what with Magellan, the invention of GPS and... all the technology we're responsible for monitoring in the first place. BEST BUY-- I'm gonna need you to go ahead and come in on Saturdaaaay.>>