I've said it once and I'll say it again: the music at McDonald's makes me want to off myself more than the hangover that brought me there in the first place. Is a barely-got-there- 10:29 am-number 11 really worth having to endure The Chipmunks do Glee? Glee is the worst as it is, but reallllly we need to cover them with autotronic rodent garbage voices? What the fuck are people thinking? Alvin does some shitty actor in Glee doing Dionne Warwick? Who's ok'ing this? Who's buying this and playing it? Is this just a ploy to keep your table turnover high, McD's?
Even the crosseyed homeless dude would rather sweat out his choices on Van Buren than rectify his bodyheat in the cool, cool A/C of the golden arches. He's real...he searches for all the Marines he can find downtown and shouts out "HOO-RAH!" Their girlfriends are not from the city and are always real creeped out, but most of the jarheads give him a fistpound and support his revelry. Best one I've seen was yesterday, this lipsticked straight-haired wide-eyed Betty just screamed and ran away...into McDonald's, while her uniformed boyfriend acted like a true gent and even appeased the bum by swapping service allegories and offering him some change. While charming, it was short-lived as his sweetheart darted out the revolving doors of McDonald's screaming longer and higher-pitched than the last time. Guess the Chipmunks didn't do it for her, either.
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ahahahahahahahahahaha everything is right about this. I went to hangover brunch at a place called arnolds today. they played a radio station that only played labush and macarana, but the station didn't come in well.
ReplyDeleteNot to worry they had a singles poster board up that you post a notecard with tape to the board to get a date. I am going to tell you the truth It was either me or my hangover that took some of those cards. I intend to call them in front of people with an amplified device. Perhaps a mic under a rickshaw tent